Saturday, October 9, 2010

Douchebag of the Week: Glen Coffee

Glen Coffee was a last minute recipient of this week's award.  I was going to give it to Roger Goodell, and the the way that the NFL handles the blackout policy, but this Glen Coffee story is just too good, and too funny to not discuss. 

For those of you who do not remember, Coffee was a running back for the San Francisco 49'ers who abruptly retired at the old age of 23, a story in which I covered here.  I applauded Coffee for his decision, a lot of players would simply go through the motions, collect a paycheck, and go home.  Coffee decided that he had a higher calling, and decided to enter the ministry, and devote his life to God.

As someone who finds Christian's often intolerable, any shot that i can take at them, well, I take advantage of it.  So hear we go!

Glen Coffee was pulled over in Florida, apparently for speeding in his Cadillac.  When he failed to have insurance and a valid registration card, the cops took a peak in homie's car, and found a gun, in the cocked position.

So one has to ask, what exactly was a "man of Jesus," doing with a loaded gun?  I don't read my bible, put I', pretty sure God doesn't want his prophets carrying around loaded weapons.  Was he hoping to scare away some potential Satanists?  Perhaps he was trying to cleanse the South of those who don't follow the gospel, who knows what dude was thinking.

I suppose since he is no longer cashing those huge NFL paychecks, dude can't afford the $200 dollars for valid registration.  So one would think, "Hey, eventually the cops are going to pull me over, since I don't have current tags, I should probably conceal my gun somewhere."

These Christian buffoons are the best.  They preach about the horror's of premarital sex, swearing, drugs, and drinking, but hey look at the shit that these idiots do.  Mel Gibson is preaching to us with that Jesus movie, yet he had a child out of wedlock, and allegedly beat the shit out of her.  Coffee wanted to spread the message of gospel, yet his actions make him a sinner just like the rest of us.

You never won a title of any kind, but congratulations Glen Coffee, you are our Douchebag of the Week.

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