Saturday, August 14, 2010

Randon thoughts: Bratty Kids

Kids are usually annoying.  I was, and I'm pretty sure you were.  It seems like wherever you go, someone's child is acting up, throwing a tantrum, or just bitching in general.  Today i encountered one of the most annoying children I have ever met.

I was picking up a few things at Target, in their back-to-school section, where I saw a young girl who we are going to call Susie.  Susie was shopping with her Father, which was about as fun for him, as the vasectomy he will have because of her.  Daddy was just helping Susie out, pointing out things on her list that the little bitch might need for school.

"How about a binder for your supplies?"  Daddy asks Susie.  "Eww, I don't like that one, it doesn't have Hello Kitty on it, ewww."  Little Susie says.

It seemed like everything this poor bastard was saying, this 12 year old girl was giving her Father lip.  She even called him stupid a few times.  This is an offense that would have gotten me a knuckle sandwich across the face.  I don't know who's a bigger bitch in this situation, the Father or the little girl.

Adults need to learn that they are in control, and they can't take shit from their kids.  I see this all too often in the world.  Some parents are just too lazy to actually set boundaries, so they just give their kids whatever the want, because then they aren't forced to listen to the whining.

Bratty kids are a byproduct of lazy parenting.  I implore parents to get off their ass, and actually teach their children some manners.  It's really not that difficult.  If Daddy had done this to little Susie when she was a child, he wouldn't be her bitch today.

Glen Coffee 23

Oh to be young, rich, and playing a key role for an NFL team.  Sounds like a dream for most of us nonathletic, overweight shlubs.  Glen Coffee decided that this dream of a lifestyle was not for him.

Glen Coffee, a backup running back for the San Francisco 49'ers, decided that he no longer had the passion for football, and decided to retire.  Coffee, was a third round pick in 2009, and had 83 carries for 226 yards, with 2 TD's.

According to, Glen Coffee looks like he's going to join the ministry.  Not as glamorous as scoring touchdowns on Sunday, he now will spend his Sundays in church.

Kevin Says:  I actually respect Coffee a lot for this.  He was upfront with the coaching staff, and decided football wasn't for him.  A lot of guys would have hung on for the paycheck, and play with half a heart.  It's unfortunate for the Niners organization, since he was a 3rd round pick in 2009.  Good luck to you, Glen.

Douchebag of the Week: Francisco Rodriguez

This week's winner has a history of being a emotional little bitch.  This guy always got on my nerves with the way he dropped to his knees after a save.  Well, our little buddy let his emotions get the best of him this week.

Frankie was arrested for beating up the Father of his common-law wife.  According to an article in the New York Daily News, Frankie blew up at a few reporters, dropping many f-bombs and he shoved his way through a precession of women and children.

We all have bad days, but punching your girlfriends Father in the face is never a good idea.  I can only imagine how awkward Thanksgiving will be at the Rodriguez household this year.  Rodriguez has also agreed to anger management, and was fined $125,000.

Hey dumbass, if you are going to beat the shit out of your Father-in-law, do it in your home, or a different location.  Do not do it at your workplace, in front of reporters.  It's just a shame no one had a camera phone handy, so we could watch it on Youtube.

Congratulations Frankie, you win the douchebag of the week award!  Grab a sandwich, and sit next to the previous award winners.  You earned it, you stupid ass!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Remember "Turn ahead the clock night?"

Turn ahead the clock night was one of my favorite baseball promotions ever.  Back in 1999, many teams wore futuristic uniforms, some of which were actually pretty cool.  I've used the power of google, and found a few that were pretty cool.  Many of the teams went ahead and just made their current logo bigger, although some completely changed their color scheme.  Lets take a look at some of them.

The Brewers uniform on the left here, was pretty cool.  I like the colors, with the blue unis, with the yellow sleeves.  You also have to like the barrel man swinging for the fences.  It would be better if it were Benny Brewer.

The Padres uniform looks pretty cool as well.  I wish they would wear black, instead of that terrible kahki color they wore on the road.  Plus it made Tony Gwynn look slimmer than he ever did.

The Mariners uniform below, also had an entirely different color scheme.  I wish more teams did rock red as a primary color, it looks really cool.  Perhaps they should bring it as an alternative Sunday afternoon jersey.

I thought this promotion was fun, although I remember it being ridiculed by sports writers.  I am all for doing something fun and different.  I think it's time for more futuristic uniforms.

Chipper tears his ACL; season is over

Chipper Jones, one of the great hitters of the last 15 years tore his ACL,and is done for the season.  This injury may end the career of a great player, and makes the Braves quest for a pennant much more difficult.

Jones has been hitting .400 for the month of August, seemed to finally be hitting his stride in the dog days of summer.  For the year he ends up with a .265/.381/.426 line with 10 HR's and 46 RBI's.  Chipper was hurt while making a defensive play.

The Braves in the meantime, will hand their 3rd base job to Brooks Conrad, or they could turn to the waiver wire for an extra infielder.  Ty Wiggington could be a fit, and former Orioles and Rockies infielder Garrett Atkins is also a free agent.

Jones, who has hinted at retirement in the recent past, would be a candidate for the Hall-of-Fame.  He has 2,400 career hits, won a batting title, and has over 400 HR's.  Hopefully we haven't seen the last of Chipper.

Is Merriman coming to camp?

Today several reports stated that disgruntled Charger linebacker Shawne Merriman would sign his restricted free agent tender for $3.269 million, and report to training camp.  Well apparently his current status is up in the air. 

It was reported earlier today, by Adam Schefter of ESPN, that Merriman would sign his tender, report to camp and play for the Chargers.  Jason La Canfora of the NFL network says that this matter is far from resolved.

Kevin Says:  I have been a Charger fan since I was 9, and Merriman is one of the few Chargers I actually despise.  The guy played like a hall-of-famer in his first two seasons, got busted for steroids, tore up his knee, and hasn't been the same since.  Merriman has bitched all offseason about getting a new contract, and now he's crying about being traded.  Merriman played like a turd last season, getting just 4 sacks, and was sackless in 14 of the 16 games in the regular season.

If Merriman had a brain in that giant dome of his, he would step up,have a huge season, and someone would pay him in the offseason.  This clown doesn't care about winning, he just cares about increasing his Hollywood star power.  Yo Shawne, do us a favor; go choke some bitch, and get your ass in the WWE ring.  At least you won't be criticized for doing steriods.

My trip to Warped Tour 2010

Warped Tour is always one of my favorite days of the year. It's like punk rock summer camp, dozens of bands playing for 10 straight hours. There's always a bunch of great looking ladies, so its a party for both your eyes and your ears. While enjoying my day there, I noticed many things that I found fascinating, so I am going to share them with you.

Automatic Loveletter
The cigarette smoking companies must be stoked, because Warped Tour is a gathering of thousands of underage smokers. You couldn't walk more than 20 feet without seeing some 15 year old kid lighting up. It must be liberating to fire up a Camel, without your Mother walking into your room and ripping you a new asshole. Way to rebel kids.

Hardcore dancing is still very popular with the children. If your not sure what it is, it consists of people opening a mosh pit, then swing their limbs like they are imitating Bruce Lee. Check out this link for a better example.  I am just there to check out some music, and have a little fun, not have some idiot hit me on the head, while he is swinging his limbs around like a monkey.  It is completely annoying, and they look ridiculous.

There were also a ton of female fronted bands this year, more than I have ever seen.  I counted at least 10 of them, and a lot of them are actually good.  I checked out a band called Versaemerge, pretty catchy rock, that has a bit of an indie vibe.  I was impressed by their set.  Automatic Loveletter was also amazing, and I was privileged enough to meet the lead singer, Juilet Simms.  Her voice is so emotional and unique, I recommend them highly.  Even a couple of female fronted San Diego bands were present in A City Serene and The Material.  Rock on ladies!

But with the good, there were just as many terrible bands.  Emmure, an east-coast hardcore band epitomized whats wrong with music.  Five guys, dressed up as bad asses, screaming into a microphone, while playing the same three chords repeatedly.  They played 6 songs during their set, and I honestly couldn't tell you the differences between them.  Their set was complete garbage.  Whitechapel is another generic band, I couldn't get into their set at all.

So another year at Warped comes to an end.  I got to see some great bands, get a little sunburned, and best of all, I got to drink a $5.00 water.  Warped Tour is always a blast, and is a great place for a music fan.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Movies I love: Halloween 4

For those of you who don't know me that well, I love horror movies. There's just something about them that gets me excited to watch. If a horror movie is done correctly, it keeps you on the edge of your seat, and you actually feel a little sad when one of the characters is murdered. Halloween 4 is my all-time favorite horror movie. It's a little cheesy and unrealistic at times, but it's got sympathetic characters, and a great performance by the great Sir Donald Pleasance. Let's take a trip, shall we?

Halloween 4 came out in 1988, and was a direct sequel to Halloween 2. For those of you who don't follow the series, Michael Myers and Dr. Loomis were supposed to be dead at the end of the second film, and that was supposed to be the conclusion of the Michael Myers story. Halloween 3, introduced a new storyline about an evil scientist who planned on killing millions of children with Halloween masks that explode when triggered by a television commercial. Halloween 3 was a slight disappointment, grossing only $13 million at the box office when it was released in 1982. It was also panned by critics, although I feel it's a decent flick.

Danielle Harris as Jamie
As the years passed, fans wanted to see Michael Myers back on the big screen. There were talks of a cross-over film with Leatherface, and even a "supernatural' type of storyline with Michael killing from beyond the grave. Finally they chose a script, with Michael and Loomis being only "hurt", and both were found to be burnt severely, but alive. Michael was in a comatose state after the ending of Halloween 2, barely alive but that all changed.

My favorite part of the movie is the opening sequence. The film starts with ominous pictures of the fall season in the Midwest. Images of wind blowing through cornfields, the sun going down, and a creepy scarecrow. The director did a perfect job of painting a portrait of the sleepy Midwest town Michael hails from.

Donald Pleasance as Dr. Loomis
Moving on from there, we find Michael still alive(barely) and he is set to be transferred to a different hospital. While being loaded into the ambulance, the medics mention that Michael has a niece in Haddonfield, and this makes Michael spring into action, and he murders both medics, including shoving his thumb through one man's forehead. (one of the cheesy parts)

We then meet Michael's 8 year-old niece, Jamie, played by a young Danielle Harris. She is supposed to be the daughter of Laurie Strode, the character played by Jamie Lee Curtis in the first two films. We find that Jamie has been having dreams about her murderous uncle, and one of the real jump scenes of the film takes place in this part of the film.

Jamie is protected throughout the film by her foster sister Rachel, played by Ellie Cornell. She becomes the protector of Jamie, and tries to keep her safe while much of her small town is slaughtered by Myers.

When Dr. Loomis finds out Myers has escaped the custody of the state, he knows Michael will return to Haddonfield to kill on the 10th anniversary of his first rampage.

Without giving you an entire summary of the film, I'll touch on a few points: The performance by Danielle Harris is the best thing about this film. She is so tormented throughout the film, being constantly chased by her psycho uncle, and being an orphan. Her performance tugs on your heart, something horror movies often lack.

The unkillable Michael Myers
Donald Pleasance is great as well. He devoted his life to keeping Michael locked up, because he knew what Myers was capable of. Once Michael escaped, he risks his life to keep Michael from killing everyone he crosses paths with. Pleasance, who was in over 100 films in his lifetime, is one of the most underrated actors of the last 50 years, I'll watch anything he's in.

The ending is also shocking, I won't spoil it for you if you haven't seen it, but i didn't really expect the film to end the way it did, something a great horror flick needs.

Halloween 4 is big on suspense, but lacking on gore, something that many horror buffs don't like about this film. In my opinion, it was the best sequel of the series, and it is a favorite among Halloween fanatics such as myself. While Halloween 2 is better received by critics, I feel that film doesn't have the acting performances that Halloween 4 has.

Halloween 4 was a moderate success at the Box Office, grossing around $18 million on a budget of just $5 million. It rekindled America's love affair with Michael Myers, and spawned a sequel that came out one year later.

Next time you're looking for a scare, pop Halloween 4 in your Netflix queue, and get your popcorn. Halloween 4 is an essential part of my Halloween ritual of non-stop horror. Check it out, its one of the movies I love!

Monday, August 9, 2010

Mariners fire Don Wakamatsu

Just a few days ago, Mariners manager got the dreaded vote of confidence from upper management.  Today Wakamatsu is unemployed.

The Mariners fired their manager, after a season that was filled with promise, came crashing down due to players not playing up to their capability.  The Mariners started Monday with a 42-70 record, including a pathetic 6-22 in July. 

Wakamatsu was in his second season as manager of the Mariners, going 127-147 overall, but he did lead the team to an 85-77 record just one year ago.

The Mariners AAA manager, Darin Brown will take over on an interim basis.

Kevin Says:  Wakamatsu takes the wrap for GM Jack Zduriencik, as most of his offseason moves blew up in his face.  A ton of people picked Seattle in the west this year, but everything went completely wrong.  Cliff Lee was supposed to give them another ace, and while he pitched well, the Mariners fell out of the race and he was shipped to Texas.  Chone Figgins has been a complete failure, Ken Griffey couldn't hit anymore, and Milton Bradley has been useless.  Once again, the Mariners are rebuilding.  Perhaps they shop Ichiro this offseason, I can see him wearing Yankee pinstripes in 2011.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Random Thoughts: People on cellphones

Cell phones are a blessing, yet a curse on our society.  It makes things like contacting emergency services so much more effective.  If someone has a heart attack or is violently attacked, we can access 911 much faster, and potentially save lives.  We can also exchange information so much more quickly, we can text someone a quick message like, "meet me for dinner at 8" or "pick up milk on the way home".  Makes things quick and efficient.  Overall though, I feel cellphones are a hindrance on our society. 

Cellphones give people a reason to be even ruder than they already are.  As I have previously stated, I work in retail, so I deal with idiots every day.  People think that while they are on the phone, it is like they are in some sort of a bubble.  They have conversations that should be private.  I've heard people discussions financial stuff, including pin numbers and other information that should be on the downlow.  I have even heard one delightful young lady discussing her sexlife.  Interesting and fun for me, but way inappropriate.

The next schmuck is someone I call "bluetooth guy".  This piece of shit walks around in public all day,having random conversations, because he's hands-free.  Everytime I see this clown, i think he's some nut that is talking to himself.  Hell, maybe he is, but seeing guys walk around with that stupid thing hanging off their ears drives me batshit. 

My biggest pet peeve with cell phones,are the idoits think that theyhave to answer their phone.  Some idiot will walk up to me, ask me a question, then while I am in mid-sentence, they will pick up their phone and answer it.  So lets recap:  idiot wastes my time to ask some pointless question, I attempt to answer, then I am completely cutoff.  Unless your wife is pregnant, or someone in your family is sick, put down the fucking phone, and call them back.  Most phones have caller-id, so if it was really that important you can call them back, or shoot them a text.  It's not that difficult, you bastards!

I will admit that i love my cell phone. I text like a madman, and I love facebooking on it.  However, you will never catch me answering my phone while you speak to me, or walking around with a bluetooth headset, obvlious to the world around me.  Learn to use your phones properly people!

Finally! 3-D Porn coming!

Get that bottle of Jergens ready fellas, 3-D porn is on the way.  A story on Yahoo, says that some Hong Kong filmmakers have claimed that they have shot the first 3-D porn.

The title is called "Sex and Zen", and reportedly cost over $3 million U.S. dollars to produce.  The film is supposed to feature "orgies, and very graphic sex scenes.  The movie stars two Japanese film stars.

Hustler also has plans to produce a 3-D spoof of Avatar, which means we will finally be able to see some blue titties.

"Sex and Zen" doesn't get me really excited.  I'm not really into the Asian girls, but I do admire their ambition.  With all the other crap being produced in 3-D, at least we will finally see some new innovations in the adult film world.