Friday, August 20, 2010

Douchebags of the week: Dr. Laura and Karsten Whitson

There were plenty of candidates for the prestigious award this week.  I heard many people tell me that I should pick Brett Favre.  Personally, I like having Favre in the league, and I have grown accustomed to his dog and pony show every offseason.  I also considered Shawne Merriman, just because I think he's a punk.  However, after much deliberation, I decided that a couple of candidates were worthy, so your douchebags of the week are Dr. Laura and Padres draft pick Karsten Whitson.

For those of you that haven't been following the news, Dr. Laura was heavily scrutinized for using the "n" word, while on the air with a black caller.  Her reasoning for using it, was that if the word is so offensive, then why to black people say it to each other?  While I don't disagree with her point of view, it is incredibly stupid to say the "n" word on National radio.  Don Imus said "nappy headed hoe" on the air, and was promptly fired.  What did she really expect to prove by saying the "n" word?  Dr. Laura is a despicable bitch, who has put her foot in her mouth several times.

She also apologized for using the "n" word, yet has decided to end her radio career, so she "can have her first amendment rights."  So, you use a racial slur on air, apologize for using the slur, yet you say you want to be able to say whatever you would like in our society.  When I read between the lines, Dr. Laura was just paying lip service to the public.  She wasn't sorry at all for what she said, she was just sorry that she was crucified in the media.  I can't speak for everyone, but I don't apologize for things i say or do, unless I am truly sorry. 

Should we really be surprised that Dr. Laura pissed off another portion of the human race?  I mean this is the same whore that said that homosexuality was "a biological error" and that all gay men can't raise children because they are "sexual deviants."  At the end of the year, Dr. Laura will end her radio career, and will have plenty of time to write books that spew her right-wing agenda of family.  She is entitled to her opinion, but I don't buy her apology.  Stick to your guns, you old hag.

Now we move on to my boy, Padres first round draft pick, Karsten Whitson.  According to several reports, the Padres had an agreement to sign Karsten for around $2 million, the amount MLB recommends that the 9th pick in the draft should receive.  Well at the last moment, Karsten wanted $2.7 million, and the Padres countered with $2.1 million.  The Padres called his bluff, and he didn't sign.

Mr. Whitson decided to get greedy, and now he's lost an opportunity to make millions.  Keith Law of ESPN said Whitson would be lucky to see that kind of money in 2013, the next time Whitson will be eligible for the draft.  See Karsten, you get greedy and you get screwed.  College baseball coaches are notorious for abusing their pitchers.  I went to a San Diego State vs. New Mexico game last season, and the pitcher for New Mexico was allowed to throw 160 pitches in 8 innings.  Good luck with that my friend, hopefully your arm falls off by your junior year.

So congratulate our newest award-winners, I am contemplating sending our recipients a box of Summer's Eve, so if anyone could hook me up with the addresses, I would appreciate it.  Enjoy your time off of radio Dr. Laura, I know I will!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Sports tidbits for Wednesday

More baseball stuff gong down today, the pennant races are getting hot.  Here's some of my opinions of what is going on.

  • The Braves acquired Derrek Lee from the Cubs for 3 pitching prospects.  None of those pitchers is considered a top prospect.  Lee, will fill in for Troy Glaus , who will head to the DL.  Lee is a great defensive 1st baseman, but he has had a down year with the stick.  Decent pickup for the Braves, but I feel the Phillies will catch them.
  • The Rockies are on the verge of releasing outfielder Brad Hawpe.  Hawpe has had an awful year, but a contender will jump on him.  Texas, San Francisco, St. Louis, and Boston come to mind as teams that may seek his services.
  • BYU is leaving the Mountain West for football.  They plan to be an independent, and have their games broadcast on BYU-TV.  Their plan is to spread Mormonism through this network, which already reaches 80 million homes.  I will boycott watching their games, since the Mormon's will try to brainwash us.  The Mountain West plans to invite Fresno St. and Nevada to join the conference.

Who the fuck is Aubrey Plaza?

If you saw "Funny People" like i did last summer, you witnessed the big screen debut of Aubrey Plaza.  She played Daisy, the female comic, and the love interest of Seth Rogen.  If you felt like me, you probably wanted her to get hit by a train, or eaten by a pack of wolves.  I just wanted her off the screen.  Recently i took in the film, "Scott Pilgrim vs. the World," and there she was, just as annoying as ever.  These events got me to thinking, "Who is this broad, and where did she come from?"  I decided to hit up my ally google, and learn about my new, least favorite actress.

This Aubrey Plaza girl was born in 1984, in Delaware.  She stars in the NBC sitcom, "Parks and Recreations," a show that has had poor ratings, and it's also one I have never seen.  It seems like she has a fan in Judd Apatow, so there will be plenty more films opportunities for her.  But I really don't see the appeal of her.

Take a look at "Funny People."  While it wasn't a classic by any means, Aubrey was absolutely horrid in this movie.  Her stand up comedy scenes were flat out terrible.  According to, Judd Apatow had all of the stars write their own material, including Plaza.  Her stand up scene was incredibly difficult to watch.  She was completely unfunny, and came across as awkward, but not in a good way.  If I had paid to see this bitch live, I would demand a refund,or pelt her with a boot.

She played another annoying character in "Scott Pilgrim," playing a character that warns Scott to stay away from the girl of his dreams.  Her skin looks awful in the film, as I assume the filmmaker was trying to make her less attractive.

Perhaps it's just the roles that this young lady is receiving, but she has already annoyed me to no end.  Like I mentioned earlier, as long as Apatow is producing comedies, she will probably find work.  Aubrey, I implore you to take acting classes, please?

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

The day in Sports

It may have been just a Tuesday, but some very interesting things took place today.  Let's take a gander.

  • To the surprise of no one, Brett Favre is back in Minnesota.  Since the grind of training camp is behind us, Favre decided to come back.  The guy is a total diva, but he gives the Vikings a legitimate shot at a Super Bowl run.  Sorry Sage Rosenfels.
  • Bobby Thompson, the New York Giant who hit the "shot heard around the world," back in 1951, died today.  He was 86, and he had been in poor health.  RIP Bobby.
  • Our douchebag of the week, Francisco Rodriguez, is out for the season, after punching out his girlfriend's father.  The Mets are also trying to withhold his salary.  Next time, beat up family members at home like the other athletes do.
  • Tough break for Titans running back Stafon Johnson.  He's out for the season after he dislocated his ankle in a preseason game.  For those of you who don't know, Johnson was almost killed while at USC last year, when a weight slipped and crushed his larynx.  The Titans plan on placing him on IR, and letting him recover.  Good luck Stafon, I'm rooting for you.
  • Adonal Foyle retired from the NBA after 13 years.  Not bad for a guy who averaged 4.4 points and 4.1 rebounds a game.  He also made over $63 million in his career.  If I were only a foot taller...
  • The Padres beat the Cubs, behind Jon Garland 1-0.  With the Giants loss,the Padres have a five game lead in the NL West.  The Padres next 8 games are against the Cubs, Brewers,and Diamondbacks.

Jonah Hill vs. Michael Cera

I caught a showing last night of "Scott Pilgrim vs. the World."  While this movie has received solid reviews, I really didn't like it.  While it did have some cool special effects, it just never really made me laugh.  In fact the last Cera movie I saw, "Youth in Revolt" was a disappointment to me as well.  It got me thinking about the last and only Michael Cera film I really liked, the 2007 teen classic "Superbad."  Cera, and Jonah Hill worked well together, and it was a brilliant film.  So I started to think, who has had the better career so far, Michael Cera or Jonah Hill.

Michael Cera has primarily been the male lead in his films, while Jonah Hill has been a supporting actor.  Cera, who had back-to-back $100 million dollar hits in 2007, with "Superbad" and "Juno," hasn't really had the same Box Office magic he did a few years ago.  Since then, his highest grossing film was "Year One," a commercial disappoint, making $43 million, and barely making its budget back in returns.  He has been praised for his roles in other films, but they have come up short in box office cash.  "Scott Pilgrim vs. the World," received an 81 % rating on Rotten Tomatoes, but it was slaughtered at the box office last weekend, finishing 5th in its opening weekend.

Jonah Hill has also carved a nice niche as an actor in Hollywood, starring or supporting in several hit movies, and has also lent his voice to several successful animated films.  He was in a couple of terrible movies("Strange Wilderness," "The Invention of Lying") he has also been great in a few comedies.  "Get him to the Greek was one of the best movies I saw all summer,and Cyrus has received great buzz.  Jonah also has a couple of intriguing movies in the works, starting with Brad Pitt in "Moneyball," and a movie version of 80's crime-drama 21 Jump Street.

So, with all being said, who has had the most successful career so far?  As of right now, I personally give the title to Jonah Hill.  While he will probably end up eating himself out of Hollywood, he seems to have more range than Cera.  He is taken on some more dramatic roles like "Cyrus" while Cera has been the same likeable nerd the in the last 5 films he has starred in.  Cera really needs to step up his game, his dork appeal is clearly losing steam.  Perhaps a film adaption of "Arrested Development" is what the doctor ordered.

Artist of the week: Automatic Loveletter

This is the first, in a new feature I will feature every week.  I am going to write a little article about an artist that I have been enjoying, and then sharing it with the four of you that read this.  I will also post some of the new releases that you can go out and buy, or download of a torrent site.  That being said, lets hear it for our first band of the week, Automatic Loveletter.

Automatic Loveletter, is a female-fronted pop/rock band out of Tampa Bay, Florida.  Juilet Simms, the lead vocalist of the band has endured many hardships while trying to get her career started.  She initally signed to Epic Records back in 2007.  She recorded an album with producer Matt Squire, but it was never released, although some of those tracks made it on their debut EP, "Recover."  That was released in 2008.

Finally in June 2010, Automatic Loveletter put out their debut album, called "Truth or Dare."  The album debuted at #23 on the Heatseekers chart, and they played all the dates on the 2010 Vans Warped Tour.  They will also be playing some dates with Valencia in October.

The reason I love this band, is Juliet Simms.  She plays heart-on-your-sleeve rock, with impressive ballads, and uptempo rock anthems.  Her voice has a raspy feel to it, and she has incredible range.  The lady also writes all her own material, impressive in a world full of Katy Perry and Britney Spears carbon copies. 

Automatic Loveletter is also impressive live, sounded just like they do in the studio.  They were a respite for my ears, with most of Warped Tour being one generic screamo band after another.  Do yourself a favor, and check out this band, you may just dig them like I do, congratulations to Automatic Loveletter, the band of the week. 

Artist:  Automatic Loveletter
Album:  Truth or Dare
Standout Tracks:  "Heart Song."  The opening track on the record, and the most uptempo track on the record, it's quite catchy, and danceable.
"Story of my Life."  This track chronicles the struggle of Simms' struggle to make her rock-n-roll dreams come true.  Great, heartfelt lyrics.
"The Day that Saved Us."  A fantastic ballad, that shows of the impressive vocal range of Juilet Simms.

"Heart Song" video:
"Hush" video:

2010 MLB Draft Deadline signings

Today was the deadline for draft picks to sign with the organizations that drafted them.  All but three first round picks agreed to terms.  Here's a rundown of some of the bigger signings, and non-signings.

  • The Nationals agreed to terms with top draft pick Bryce Harper.  He receives $9.9 million in guaranteed money, a new record for a position player.  Harper, who is only 17, won the 2010 Golden Spikes Award, which is given to the nation's top amateur baseball player.  Nice job by the Nationals.
  • The Pirates signed pitcher Jameson Tailion, who was the second overall player.  Taillion, who is considered to be the top pitching prospect in the draft, gets $6.5 million in guarantees.  Throw him into the rotation, the Pirates pitching staff is a joke!
  • The Orioles signed Manny Machado, who was the third player taken in the draft.  He recieves a $5.5 million guarantee.  Machado, a high school shortstop from Miami, has drawn comparisons to Alex Rodriguez.
There were three first rounders that failed to reach an agreement with their teams.  Here's a list of those.
  • The Diamondbacks failed to sign number 6 overall pick, pitcher Barrett Loux.  Loux is believed to have arm troubles, and the Diamondbacks decided not to commit a hefty bonus to the player.
  • The Padres failed to sign high school pitcher Karsten Whitson.  The Padres are believed to have offered Whitson over $2 million, which was more than the number 8 pick, Delino Deshields Jr. received from the Astros.  Whitson will now go on to pitch at Florida.
  • The Brewers failed to reach an agreement with number 14 pick, pitcher Dylan Covey.  Covey rejected the deal due to him having type 1 diabetes.  He will pitch next season for the University of San Diego.  Not very sweet if your a Brewers fan.
For a list of all the signings, go  It's a great website if you haven't been there before, although the guy that runs the site is a complete asshole.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Films I love: Jennifer's Body

Yes, this movie wasn't commercially successful, nor was it lauded with praise.  It isn't a movie that will be remembered as a great piece of cinema, yet it was a great popcorn movie.  Jennifer's Body is a teen horror-comedy that has some laughs, a little bit of gore, and some hot lesbian action.  Who can't appreciate that?

Jennifer's Body was released in 2009, and starts retarded-hot actress Megan Fox, and the equally delightful Amanda Seyfried.  The film was the first Box Office Test for Megan Fox, as she didn't have the benefit of starring opposite Optimus Prime.  The film was a bit of a commercial disappointment, earning a touch over $16 million on a budget of the same amount.  Amanda Seyfried did win some bullshit MTV award for her performance.

Megan Fox is Jennifer Check, a hot flag girl, and Amanda Seyfried plays Needy, Jennifer's nerdy best friend.  Despite having little in common, they have been best friends since childhood.  One night, they decide to go see a rock band at a dive bar in a bigger town.  During the opening song, the bar burns to the ground, and several people are killed.  The band, called Low Shoulder, are praised as heroes, since they were seen pulling victims from the blaze.

Needy and Jennifer survive the blaze, but Jennifer decides to get in a van with her rock-and-roll heroes and goes off into the night.  The next time Needy sees Jennifer, Jennifer storms into her house, pops open the refrigerator, and attacks a poor defenseless chicken.  Jennifer appears possessed and pukes a black spiky substance all over the floor.

The movie also contains on of the best kisses in the history of film.  If this scene doesn't give you a boner, then you are probably gay.  The rest of the film features Jennifer attacking and eating boys, and Needy trying to put a stop to it.

The movie while often cheesy, has some funny dialogue, including the scene when we find out how Jennifer became possessed.  Megan Fox isn't particularly talented, but this role was perfect for her, and she gave a decent performance.  Amanda Seyfried also was underrated in this film, and J.K. Simmons gives us a few laughs as a concerned teacher.

I think this movie is just fun, and it never takes it self too seriously.  March your ass to Blockbuster, and enjoy it.  At least watch the lesbian scene.  My penis salutes you, Jennifer's Body!

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Recap of the Weekend in sports

It was a busy weekend in sports.  Preseason football is in full swing, and there is some great pennant races going in the Major League Baseball.  Here's a little recap of what's going on: 

  • Give it up for the Yankees.  Yes, they have the best record in baseball, yet they were only able to manage a series split with the lowly Royals.  Sunday was especially embarrassing, as they were two hit over 8 innings, by former number one overall pick Brian Bullington.  Bullington, who is almost 30, came in with an 0-7 record with an ERA over 5.00.  Hard to lose a game like this to a colossal bust, especially when A.J. Burnett actually pitched well.
  • The Padres managed to win a series over the Giants, pounding ace Tim Lincecum on Sunday.  Miguel Tejada had three hits, and Wade Leblanc was solid on the mound.  They have a 3 1/2 game lead going into a series with the Cubs.
  • Kevin Slowey of the Twins was throwing a no-hitter for seven innings for the Twins against the A's, then manager Rod Gardenhire pulled him.  Insert Jon Rauch who promptly gets a hit, and breaks up the no-no.  Even at 107 pitches, you have to let the guy attempt to finish what he started in that situation.
  • The Blue Jays signed pitcher Ricky Romero to five year, $30.1 million extension.  It matches the largest extension given to a pitcher with under three years of service time. 
  • The Chargers got a nice debut from rookie RB Ryan Matthews (nine carries, 50 yards) as they won on Saturday.
  • Tim Tebow made his professional debut, and scored on a touchdown run in the final moments.  Brady Quinn looked pretty awful, and may be the 3rd stringer come week one.

Tila Tequila gets stoned in Illinois

America's favorite whore Tila Tequila was in the news today, and as usual drama was following her like a lost little puppy.  The reality star, terrible musician, and all-around disgusting human being was injured at an Insane Clown Posse concert in Illinois.

Tequila was in town to perform her version of shitty, electronic music.  When she hit the stage, Juggalos pelted her with rocks, and she even claimed that a couple of people threw feces at her. 

According to several online articles, fans became enraged when Tequila mocked the crowd, and then all hell broke loose when Tequila allegedly flashed her breasts.  Patrons then threw beer bottles, and various blunt objects until she rushed off of the stage.

The retards better known as "juggalos
This kind of behavior should not be surprising from fans of ICP.  Most ICP fans are disgusting and often inbred pieces of white trash who mistake the excrement of swear words spewing from the mouths of "Crazy J" as actual hip-hop.  It's all not surprising then these douchebags resorted to throwing crap at another person.  Normally I would be outraged by such disregard for a human life, but since its Tila Tequila, I laughed for several minutes upon reading it.  And what kind of men get pissed when a woman flashes her tits?  It was probably the best thing about her set. 

You do have to hand it to the bitch, she knows how to get attention.  When she's not on stupid reality shows, she gets choked and beaten by linebackers (allegedly), and gets a nice paycheck for doing what she does best:  laying on her back.  When will Tila go away?