Saturday, October 16, 2010

Douchebag of the Week: Shawne Merriman

It was a relatively slow week for douchebags, I considered giving the award to windbag talk-show dyke's Whoppi Goldberg and Joy Behar, but I try to stay out of politics, because it turns into an annoying debate that never gets resolved.  So we move on to Shawne Merriman.  Merriman, a former Chargers linebacker didn't do anything to really receive the award, but he was a constant annoyance, especially over the last few years, when his on-field production didn't match his actions off of the field.

When Merriman first stormed on the scene as a rookie, the guy looked like a surefire Hall-of-Famer.  He was a perfect fit in Wade Philips' 3-4 attack.  He and Shaun Phillips formed an attack that opposing quarterbacks came to fear.  His finest season came in 2006, when he had 17 sacks, but was also suspended for four games for taking steroids.  The Chargers went 14-2 that season, and were famously knocked out of the playoffs by the New England Patriots.

The 2008 season is when Merriman started to fall apart.  Throughout the offseason, he was rumored to have a torn ACL, but decided against surgery in the offseason.  He decided to play through the pain, but finally decided to have surgery, thus wiping out his entire 2008 season.  Having surgery earlier in the offseason might have allowed Merriman to be available for a stretch run, but he was lost for the season.  The Chargers only won eight games that year, yet still won the AFC West.

Since then, Merriman has been more renowned for his off-field incidents.  He was arrested in 2009 for allegedly choking and beating reality-whore Tila Tequila.  Chargers General Manager A.J. Smith also grew tired of Shawne Merriman's off-field antics, such as excessive partying, and his love for a "Hollywood lifestyle."

This past off-season, the Chargers slapped the highest restricted free agent tender on Merriman, deciding that his potential was worth the $3 million salary the said tender came with.  Merriman decided he would hold out all off-season, including much of training camp, as he thought that he deserved a long term deal.  The Chargers didn't see the good in locking up a steroid cheat of a linebacker, who had all of 4 sacks in 2009.  Merriman even later acknowledged that there really wasn't a point to his holdout.  Instead of getting ready to avenge a pathetic playoff defeat, Merriman, didn't work with the team in the off-season, a decision that leads him to the unemployment.

Shawne probably isn't a bad guy, but he has epitomized the Chargers recent misfortunes.  Starts off strong, looks like a champion, and crashes like a wave.  Was it the steroids, or did he simply peak at the age of 23?  Time will tell, but here's one last kick in the ass to one of my least favorite Chargers of all time.  Good riddance, Shawne, and take your Summer's Eve douche on the way out!  You just won douchebag of the week!

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Bush singer admits gay fling

In a story that shocked me a little, grunge rocker Gavin Rossdale of the band Bush, admitted he had a gay fling with drag queen singer Marilyn.  He admitted said affair while doing an interview with a British magazine.  According to the reports, Rossdale begged the magazine not to publish that portion of the interview, since his wife, popstar Gwen Stefani was not aware of his former flame.

Rossdale said the affair happened when he was just a teenager, and that it only happened "once."  Rossdale never spoke of this former lover, citing that he did not want to ruin his career as a musician.  Rossdale also said of the affair:  "You have to know what you like, and I know what I like."

When Marilyn, the other party involved in this torrid affair, claimed that he and Rossdale were involved in an affair for five years.  Culture Club frontthing Boy George wrote about this affair in his 1995 book, but Marilyn lied about to protect Rossdale.

While reading about this story from a few different sources, a couple of things jump out in my mind.  The first thing is the quote that Rossdale made.  I knew from a young age that I like women, I am pretty sure most straight men did as well, so the quote doesn't make a lot of sense to me.  If you decide to carry on an affair with a guy, that tells me you like penis.  I highly doubt that this happened "one time" and I would tend to believe that it was an ongoing thing.  Personally, I believe Marilyn's story that this was an much more than a one night stand.

Second, why would you admit this to a tabloid, but not tell your wife?  If it were me, that little discrepancy would go to the grave with me.  If I couldn't tell my own wife, I sure as hell wouldn't tell a magazine.  You can beg the publishers all you want, but you give them an inch and they will take a mile.  A few hours later, and this story is plastered all over the web, for bloggers like me to comment on.

Obviously Rossdale isn't gay.  He's married and has two kids with Gwen Stefani, and has a bastard daughter who is an English model.  My theory is this:  If you have sex with a man, then you are probably gay, what are your thoughts on this?  Either way, this is one of the funniest stories I've come across in a while.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Should the Chargers fire Norv Turner?

Coach Norv Turner, a.k.a Freddy Krueger
As a Charger fan, 2-3 is definitely not where the Chargers expected to be.  Looking at the schedule, it looked like the Chargers should have started at 6-0.  A surprising loss at Kansas City was followed by brutal defeats at Seattle and Oakland, where the Chargers were plagued by special teams breakdowns and turnovers.  On the surface, Norv Turner, in his tenure in San Diego appears to be doing a great job.  His record in San Diego sits at 34-19, good enough for a .642 winning percentage.  However, every year the Chargers get off to terrible starts, only to rebound in the last month.  Could this be the trend once again in 2010?

Norv Turner has a great offensive mind, and that is apparent with what he has been able to do in San Diego.  Philip Rivers has developed into one of the best QB's in the league, and the Chargers are consistently one of the highest scoring offensive teams in the league.  2010 is no different, with the Chargers averaging 28 points a game, and Philip Rivers leading the league in passing yards.  Malcolm Floyd and Antonio Gates are 3rd and 4th in the NFL in receiving yards respectively, and the non-existent running game 2009, is much improved.  So the offense hasn't been the problem.

The Chargers have lost 3 games on special teams alone, a number that may rise if they don't fix it right away.  They allowed Dexter McCluster to take a punt back 95 yards in week one, Leon Washington to run back two TD's in week three, and spotted the Raiders 12 points with two blocked punts, that the Raiders cashed in on.  Later in the game, they also allowed a 46 yard punt return, which set up Oakland in Chargers territory.

Norv is now 2-3 for the 4th straight season.  That is an 8-12 record out of the gate, which is definitely uninspiring.  San Diego is notorious to rebound in December, only to piss away their momentum in the playoffs.  The Chargers play St. Louis on Sunday, then have a stretch against New England, Tennessee, Houston and Denver.  All tough games, and all ones that can be lost rather easily.  The Chargers have the talent to be a legitimate contender, but by the time they put everything together, it might be too late.  So ultimately we must ask ourselves:  Is Norv the right coach for this team?

I believe that Norv is a poor fit for this team.  The team has been undisciplined, committing several bonehead penalties in the Divisional Round loss to the Jets last season.  This season, the team has lost a fumble in each game, and has had critical turnovers in the red zone.  His passive demeanor has driven me, and other fans nuts.  He never seems to have the fire that you see in great coaches.  Norv Turner is a great offensive coordinator, but an average head coach at best.  The regular season record is somewhat deceiving, the Chargers have arguably been the most talented team in the NFL since 2004, yet have just one AFC title game appearance to show for it.  Firing Norv, and getting an upgrade at the Head Coach position would be the best thing for the Chargers going forward.  Oh, if it were only that easy.

Norv's daughter Stephanie
Coach Turner(or Freddy Krueger as I like to call him) just signed a contract extension in January, putting him under contract until the 2013 season.  There is absolutely no way that the Chargers eat all that money owed to him, in addition to having to pay a new coach.  So ultimately, Charger fans just need to hope and pray that Norv can get the Chargers back into contention.  They are only 1.5 games behind the Chiefs, so they are not buried by any means, but the Chargers need to stop the turnovers, and play sound football.  This team is too talented to be in the position that they are in.

On an unrelated note, Norv has surprisingly good DNA, take a look at his daughter.  At least he's done something right.