Saturday, November 13, 2010

Padres acquire Cameron Maybin from Florida

The Padres made their first move of the offseason Saturday, acquiring outfielder Cameron Maybin from the Florida Marlins, in exchange for right-handed relievers Ryan Webb and Edward Mujica.

Once upon a time, Maybin was considered one of the top prospects in all of baseball.  He along with Andrew Miller, was the centerpiece of the Miguel Cabrera trade a few years ago.

In 2010, Maybin struggled, hitting just .234, with 8 HR's and 28 RBI's.  He did play an above-average centerfield, according to UZR.  Maybin is still just 23, and has the potential to be a star.

In return, the Marlins received two relievers who should improve their bullpen dramatically.

Ryan Webb, 24, pitched in 54 games for San Diego, with a 2.90 ERA.  He features a mid-90's fastball, and a hard curve.  He should be able to step into a late inning setup role for the Fish.

Edward Mujica is somewhat of a statistical anomaly.  He had 72 strikeouts and only 6 walks in 69 2/3 innings, yet gave up 14 homers, while pitching half of his games at Petco Park.  He has the ability to start or relieve which gives the Marlins added flexibility.

Kevin Says:  I give the slight advantage on this deal to the Padres.  Anytime you can add a potential five-tool outfielder, for a couple of relievers, its a deal you have to do.  Maybin is still just 23, and perhaps a change of scenery will benefit him.  If he hits .260 with 10 HR's, he is a clear upgrade to what San Diego sent out to battle in 2010.

Ryan Webb could be a potential closer with the stuff he has, although his numbers are a little deceiving.  He gave up more hits than innings pitched, and his strike out rate isn't eye popping.  He is under team control for two more seasons.

Mujica is eligible for arbitration for the first time, but shouldn't command more that $750,000.  If he cuts down on the homers, he could be great.  This trade should benefit both teams.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Douchebags of the week: Brad Childress & Dave Meggett

I had a hard time choosing between these two dopes, so I figured I would include them both.  One is just an idiot, while the other one is now a convicted felon.

Chidress' look-alike Mr. Peanut
It is almost impossible to turn on ESPN, or turn on sports talk radio without hearing about the Brett Favre, and Brad Childress saga.  We all witnessed Childress(who bears a striking resemblance to Mr. Peanut) fly to Mississippi, and beg Brett Favre to return to the Vikings.  Childress knew that his fate as an NFL coach was tied to the 'ole gunslinger, the chronic sexter, or whatever nickname you prefer.  As soon as Favre regressed to a terrible QB, Childress was quick to throw him under the bus.  No wonder this clown is about as popular as a herpes-infested prostitute.  The guy is such a bum on the sideline that the Vikings nearly fired him after the way he handled the Randy Moss situation.  This clown is a terrible coach, and deserves to be whacked post haste. 

Now we move on to former Super Bowl champion Dave Meggett.  A man that had a pretty successful career in the NFL that spanned ten seasons.  Well add a new title to the resume:  Convicted rapist.

Meggett was sentenced to 30 years on prison, for criminal sexual assault, and burglary.  The victim claimed that she owed Meggett $200, and he decided to force intercourse on her as a down payment.  He choked his victim, and got rough with her in other ways.  Meggett failed to testify on his behalf, a move that analysts predict led to his downfall.

So let me get this straight, Dave.  This girl owed you $200, and you decided to rape her.  I mean, what is the thought process on this?  "Hmm, bitch owes me money, she can't pay it, so I'll just rape her."

Meggett has had a history of legal trouble, and clearly isn't the smartest man around.  I know the guy hasn't played on the league in 12 years, but is he really that desperate to recoup $200.  On the flipside, he can make $200 in about 6 months scrubbing toilets and making license plates.  At least he will make the prison football team more competitive.

Both men are hated for their actions, and they are now "Douchebags of the Week!"

Kevin Says podcast today!

Another shameless plug for myself, but I will be on the air TODAY at 5:30pm Eastern, 2:30 Pacific, at  We will talk sports as always, some big games going on in the NFL, the MLB off-season is upon us, and the Heat are a joke.  Plus, we will have the Box Office Report, previewing the films that are hitting the theatres this weekend.

People are listening, but you're not calling in!  I would love to hear your opinions, and your interaction.  Give me a call at 760-454-1106, or hit up the e-mail at  Tune in tomorrow, you guys are the best!

Royals trade Dejesus to A's

The baseball offseason is officially here, as the first "big" deal was consummated.  The Kansas City Royals sent outfielder David Dejesus to the Oakland A's, in exchange for right-hander Vin Mazzaro, and minor league lefty Justin Marks.

Dejesus had a solid 2010, hitting .318/.384/.443, but missed the last two months of the season due to a broken hand.  He was a hot commodity at the trade deadline last year, but wasn't traded due to the injury.  The Red Sox were reported to have interest, but they may look to free agency to find an outfielder.

Mazzaro, 24, had a 4.27 ERA in 122 innings for Oakland last year.  As of right now, he is likely the Royals #2 starter behind 2009 AL Cy Young Award winner Zack Grienke.  Marks, is projected as a mid-rotation starter.

Kevin Says:  Trade should work out for both teams.  Dejesus will be a great #2 hitter, he gets on base, has a little pop, and can play all three outfield positions.  $6 million is a pretty reasonable price for his skill set.

Mazzaro gives the Royals a decent arm, and will definitely be in the Royals rotation in 2011.  The move frees up $6 million, giving the Royals an opportunity to add another starter, such as Jorge De La Rosa, Kevin Correia, or Dave Bush.  

Tyler Perry is a fucking hack!

Perry's character Madea
Tyler Perry is slowly taking over the world.  TBS plays the shitty sitcoms he has developed around-the-clock.  Those shows have been sold into syndication, meaning that in a given day, its possible to see "House of Payne" more than 10 times a day.  That unfunny show with the lead actor that can't even speak clear English, and the black equivalent of Kathy Bates.  I think to myself, "Man I gotta get away from this twat, I'm taking my ass to the movies!"

Nope, can't get away from him.  The guy shits out a movie every three weeks, it seems like.  He has a new piece of crap out called "For Colored Girls."  At least he's telling white people like me to stay away from it.  Despite horrid reviews, and a no-name cast, it made $20 million last weekend.  In fact, his films have grossed over $400 million, and he's the sixth highest paid person in Hollywood, according to Forbes.

Grandmama, notice a similarity
Now he move on to Madea.  Madea is a tall-old bitch, that curses, smokes, and smacks people around.  People eat it up, and Madea has appeared in about 60 films(or so it seems.)  There's Madea goes to Jail, Diary of a Mad Black Women, and the upcoming Madea takes it in the Sludge(OK, I made that one up.)  Tyler Perry just likes to dress in drag, so I am guessing that is the reason for the constant appearances.  However, someone should sue Perry, because it is a clear rip-off of Grandmama.

Who is Grandmama, you're asking?  Well, former NBA star Larry Johnson dressed in drag as a high-flying Grandma who could dunk like no other in the old school converse commercials.  The character also appeared on an episode of Family Matters, helping Steve Urkel win a 2-on-2 basketball tournament, after Eddie dumped him for a better player.  Anyway, Madea is a clear rip-off of Grandmama.  Grandmama appeared in popular culture around 1993.  Tyler Perry's stage plays started appearing around 1998.  Personally, I think Perry based his Madea character on Grandmama.  Come on people, I can't be the only person who sees this.  Perry makes terrible movies, even worse television shows, but racks in the millions.  Larry Johnson deserves a cut, because Tyler Perry is a fucking hack!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

The Kevin Says top 20 MLB Free Agents

As we ease towards the cold, snowy winters, baseball's hot stove league heats up.  This year's class isn't particularly deep at any one position, but there are some intriguing names to be had.  I have compiled my top 20 free agents, and where I think they will go.  It's all speculation on my part, so I doubt I will get many correct.  So let's dive right in!

1.  Cliff Lee-Rangers:  The guy is arguably the best pitcher in baseball, but struggled for the Rangers in the World Series, and had a 3.98 ERA after he was dealt to Texas.  That being said, he will definitely sign the biggest deal of the offseason.  My prediction:  Yankees, 6 years, $120 million.

2.  Carl Crawford-Rays:  The best position player out there, he has it all.  He hit .300 last year with 19 HR's 90 RBI's and 47 steals.  He also led the AL with 13 triples, and is great defensively.  An asset to whomever is lucky to sign him.  My prediction:  Angels, 6 years, $90 million.

3.  Jayson Werth-Phillies:  Don't get me wrong, Werth is a nice player, but I feel he's a bit overrated.  He plays in a band box, and is surrounded by All-Stars.  He has great power, and is solid in right, but has never driven in 100 RBI's.  He could be a great singing, or a colossal bust.  However, the raw tools are there.  My prediction:  Red Sox, 6 years, $90 million.

4.  Adam Dunn-Nationals:  Dunn is a tremendous power hitter, he has hit 38 HR's each of the last two years, and draws a ton of walks, but is a liability in the field, and strikes out a ton.  Could be a fit in the AL where he can DH.  My prediction:  Cubs, 4 years, $60 million.

5.  Adrian Beltre- Red Sox:  Beltre had his finest season since 2004, hitting .321 with 28 HR's.  He is also a tremendous infielder defensively.  He seemed motivated in a contract year, which could be scary for teams making a long-term investment.  My prediction:  Orioles, 3 years, $45 million.

6.  Mariano Rivera-Yankees:  The greatest closer of all-time had a typical season, with 33 saves, and a 1.80 ERA.  There is no way in hell he leaves the Bronx.  My prediction:  Yankees:  3 years, $45 million.

7.  Derek Jeter-Yankees:  If he weren't Jeter, he would be in the same position as Edgar Renteria, looking for a one-year deal, but since he's an icon, he will be back in pinstripes.  A great leader, and a first-ballot Hall-of-Famer.  My prediction:  Yankee, 3 years, $51 million.

8.  Victor Martinez-Red Sox:  One of the best hitting catchers in baseball, Martinez can also play first, and he doesn't kill you defensively.  He also makes great contact, a solid all-around player.  My prediction:  Tigers, 4 years, $48 million.

9.  Rafael Soriano-Rays:  Soriano had a huge year last year, leading the American League in saves, and allowed just 5.2 hits per 9 innings.  The best closer on the market, since Mo isn't going anywhere.  My prediction:  Angels, 3 years, $37 million.

10.  Carlos Pena-Rays:  He led the AL in homers just a year ago, but slumped horribly in 2010, hitting just .196, but still hammered 29 HR's.  Might have to take a one year deal to re-establish his value, but could be a shrewd pickup for someone.  My prediction:  Nationals, 1 year, $7 million.

11.  Hiroki Kuroda-Dodgers:  Had a losing record last year, but posted a 3.39 ERA in almost 200 innings.  Is a solid #3 on a good staff.  My prediction:  Cardinals:  2 years, $18 million.

12.  Jake Westbrook-Cardinals:  Was solid after the Cardinals acquired him at the trade deadline. Could be useful in a pitchers ballpark, and behind a solid infield defense.  My prediction:  Nationals, 2 years, $15 million.

13.  Carl Pavano-Twins:  The guy was a horse last year, throwing 221 innings, with a 3.75 ERA.  Has established himself as a solid starter after being a huge bust with the Yankees.  My prediction:  Twins, 3 years, $30 million.

14.  Andy Pettitie-Yankees:  Pettitte was an All-Star once again in 2010, and likely will pitch for the Yankees, if he decides to pitch at all.  My prediction:  Yankees: 1 year, $14 million.

15.  Paul Konerko-White Sox:  Had a huge 2010, slugging 39 HR's and had a .584 slugging percentage.  Could possibly reach the 400 HR plateau in 2011.  My prediction:  Diamondbacks:  3 years, $42 million.

16.  Aubrey Huff-Giants:  Was the best offensive player on the Giants World Series Championship team last year.  Can play a little outfield as well as 1st.  Hit 26 bombs in a pitchers park.  My prediction:  Giants:  2 years, $16 million.

17.  Jon Garland-Padres:  Posted the lowest ERA of his career in 2010, pitching 200 innings in Petco Park.  Always puts up 200 solid innings, although he walked a lot of batters last year.  My prediction:  Rockies, 2 years, $16 million.

18.  Orlando Hudson-Twins:  Had a bit of a down year, but is a solid #2 hitter, with an above average glove.  Capable of putting up a .350 OBP.  My prediction:  Padres, 1 year, $6 million.

19.  Manny Ramirez-White Sox:  Probably nothing more that a DH in this stage of his career. Slugged just .319 in 86 AB with the Sox.  My prediction:  Blue Jays:  1 year, $7 million.

20.  Jorge De La Rosa-Rockies:  Dude has electric stuff, throws left-handed, and has great strikeout numbers.  However, he seems like an Oliver Perez clone.  My prediction:  Brewers, 2 years, $16 million.

Magglio Ordonez, Juan Uribe, Kerry Wood.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Cowboys fire Wade Phillips

The reign of futility is over in Dallas, as Jerry Jones pulled the plug on Wade Phillips earlier this afternoon.  Jones stated as recently as last week, that Phillips would remain coach through the rest of the season, however an uninspiring 45-7 loss on Sunday Night Football was the writing on the wall.

Phillips amassed a 34-22 record in 3 1/2 seasons in Dallas, including a 1-2 record in the playoffs.  The Cowboys had Super Bowl aspirations at the start of the season, but a lack of a running game, and a defense playing below expectations ultimately derailed that dream.

In the interim former Cowboys quarterback, and current offensive coordinator Jason Garrett will coach the team for the remainder of the season.  The Cowboys are one of the worst rushing teams in the NFL, and without starting quarterback Tony Romo. 

Wade Phillips in his ten years as a head coach has a winning percentage of over .600, but has only won one playoff game, last year in the Wild Card round.  Garrett, who has no head coaching experience, is simply a transition until Jerry Jones looks for a big name.  Early candidates include:  John Gruden, Bill Cowher, and perhaps Marty Schottinheimer.  The Cowboys sit at a pathetic 1-7.

Accessory to Murder?

As I finish up my associates degree as a communication major, I am also wrapping up the General Education classes, in which I take useless classes like music appreciation and modern American history.  I also am currently enrolled in my least favorite class, biology.  While science is inherently interesting, having to memorize all the parts of the digestive system is about as fun as getting a blowie from Richard Simmons.  In the lab section, we are in the part of the section where we get to cut up dead animals, and stick our hands in their entrails.  Pretty gross, and hardly educational in my opinion.  Dissecting an already dead animal is one thing, dissecting an animal while its still alive is something different altogether. 

Last week in class, we were doing a lab on the circulatory system, the bitch brought out some disturbing shit.  She busted out two live frogs, puts them in a solution that essentially puts them to sleep, and fifteen minutes later, we have unconscious, drunk frogs.  Then the crazy bitch want us to dissect these poor bastards, so we can see their hearts beating.

She calls on two volunteers, who are going to cut up these frogs, while we all watch and take notes.  I am no animal rights activist by any means, but this whole situation seemed kinda fucked up to me.  It is one thing to dissect something while it is dead, but cutting up a frog while still technically alive seemed a little unnecessary, and a little cruel.

I was sitting at my desk, while the frogs were in their beaker of death, and I thought about being their hero.  That shitty Enrique Iglesias song ran through my head, then an image of him banging Anna Kournikova, and then back to the situation at hand.  I could casually, and awkwardly stumble to the front of the class, knock over the beaker, and spare the frogs their miserable little lives, while I protest my innocence to the professor.  But, alas, I sat there, and felt sorry for these poor bastards.

As the class period progressed the volunteers cut into the frogs, sending blood flowing out.  Dead frogs don't bleed like that.  The tongue was pulled out, so it can be observed under a microscope.  The chest was exposed, and the heart was still beating.  The girl doing the cutting then casually ripped it out, and held it in her hand.  It was kind of gross, but it honestly pissed me off more than anything.  Did we really have to murder animals, just to see a beating heart?  Aren't their thousands of hours of video on the Internet that serve the same purpose?  Am I just being a vagina about the whole situation?  Either way, this professor is one crazy bitch!

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Rays add draft bust Matt Bush to 40-man roster

In a move that went largely unnoticed in the baseball world, the Rays added Matt Bush, the #1 pick in the 2004 MLB Draft by the San Diego Padres. 

The Padres ownership group famously pinched pennies in that draft, picking the more "signable" player in Bush, rather than players like Jered Weaver, Justin Verlander, Stephen Drew, and Jeff Niemann.  Bush signed for $3 million and headed to rookie ball, where an embarrassing string of events lead to his demise.

In June 2004, Bush was suspended, when he snuck into a bar, and allegedly bit a bouncer, and was cited for trespassing, and disorderly conduct.

After the Padres released him, Bush was again arrested in 2009, for DUI and disorderly conduct.  A few months prior to that, he was arrested at an El Cajon, California(my hometown) High School, for a drunken assault on two teenagers.

The guy is a total loser off the field, and is just as terrible on it.  In 2005, Bush played shortstop for the Padres low single-A affiliate in Fort Wayne.  He put up a slash line of .221/.279/.276, with 2 HR's and 32 RBI's.  He also made 38 errors in the field.

When the Padres brass realized that the dude was a complete stiff at the plate, they tried to utilize his talented arm on the mound.  Bush threw some innings in an instructional league, and subsequently blew out his arm, and he required Tommy John surgery.  The Padres had enough off his issues, and he was released.

Toronto signed him as a minor-league free agent, who released him after the aforementioned drunken episode.  The Rays were captivated by his potential, and signed him to pitch.

Last year, Bush pitched 8.1 innings for the Rays A ball affiliate, and posted a 4.32 ERA and 12 K's.  By adding him to the 40 man roster, he is protected from the rule 5 draft, and could potentially appear in the majors this season.  Some scumbags have all the luck.

Chargers put on Tutu; Dance past the Texans

Thanks to a two game winning streak, and the Kansas City Chiefs returning to Earth, the Chargers playoff chances actually have a glimmer of hope.  San Diego picked a great time to pick up their first road win of 2010, beating the Texans 29-23 in Houston.

Philip Rivers was forced to go to battle without three top receivers, and all-pro tight end Antonio Gates, but Rivers found other weapons on this day.

After falling behind early, after the Chargers allowed yet another blocked punt, their fifth of the season, Philip Rivers hooked up with undrafted rookie wideout Seyi Ajriotutu on a 55 yard bomb, as "Tutu" blew past the safety.  Ajriotutu finished up with 4 catches for 111, including a huge first down grab late in the 4th quarter.

Arian Foster continued his assault on the NFL, carrying the ball 27 times, for 127 yards, and two scores.  However, he was a non-factor in the fourth quarter, as he had only two carries.

The Chargers trailed 23-14 midway through the 3rd quarter, but Philip Rivers continued to find ways to make plays.  He spread the ball all around, hooking up with Patrick Crayton for a big gain.  Rivers got the Bolts within two, when he hooked up with backup tight end Randy McMichael on a 12 yard score, McMichael made a sensational one-handed-catch for added dramatic effect.  

Rivers put the Chargers ahead for good in the 4th, hooking up with Tutu once again on a 28 yard strike, as he streaked down the sideline all alone for the score.  The Chargers decided to go for two, with Mike Tolbert diving into the endzone, putting the Bolts up for good, 29-23.

Texans quarterback Matt Schaub led the Texans into Chargers territory, but wideout Andre Johnson dropped a pass, and it landed in the arms of Chargers safety Paul Oliver, and the Chargers escaped Texas with a win.  They head into their bye week at 4-5, with a terrible Denver team awaiting them in two weeks.  Hopefully the Chargers can get healthy, and make another run into the postseason.

Notes:  Mike Scifres had his 5th punt blocked this season.  Harry Newsome of the Pittsburgh Steelers has the record of 6, set during the 1988 season.

Philip Rivers leads the NFL with 2,649 yards this season, and is tied for second with 15 TD passes.