Saturday, April 23, 2011

Douchebag of the Week: Mike Leake

I hate to bust the balls of a fellow San Diegan, but this was just too easy.  We have all been short on cash, walking around the mall, looking at merchandise that we can't really afford.  I remember walking around my local mall, checking out the $300 Charger jerseys that I couldn't afford with my McDonald's checks.

Mike Leake is a big league pitcher, who received a $2.3 million dollar bonus just a few years ago, and currently makes $440,000 pitching in the big leagues.  Leake saw some merchandise that he had to have at Macy's; six American rag t-shirts, valued at $59.88, and decided to remove the security tags, and steal the tees.  He was then arrested and charged with a misdemeanor,but still pitched that day, and won.

I have racked by brain trying to figure out what Leake was thinking.  The dude isn't strapped for cash, if you have made a cool $3 million  in the last few years, you can afford some crappy t-shirts.  The guy wasn't even going for the Guess or Calvin Klein rack, nope he went straight for the clearance rack. 

The only conclusion that I could arrive at, is that this dude is a kleptomaniac.  It is the only thing that makes sense to me.  It isn't about getting that $80 pair of slacks, its about the rush of the chase, the thrill of the steal.  I would wager that this wasn't Mr. Leake first trip to the steal mill, it might just be the first time he has been caught.

I, myself have never stolen from a retailer, although I can't say I haven't been tempting.  What Leake did was just beyond stupid.  A large department store pays guys to specifically sit on their fat asses and watch people on cameras.  I really can't understand this idiot's logic, he has so much to lose, the guy has a chance to be a very good pitcher, and he could throw it all away on $10 t-shirts.  What the hell were you thinking, Mike?

Leake has yet to be disciplined, but if I were Reds management, I'd bang him for at least 5 games, which would equate to one start.  It is not as bad as a DUI, but he committed a crime, and should be punished.  He showed a complete lack of judgment, and embarrassed himself and the organization.  Leake should also be subjected to standing outside of the Macy's holding a since that says "I'm a dick, I stole from this establishment, and that is the reason you are paying more for that pair of slacks" sign.  Perhaps Leake will think twice about stealing again, or at least be more discreet.

Mike Leake, kleptomaniac, and the newest Douchebag of the Week!

No comments:

Post a Comment