Thursday, July 7, 2011

NCAA Football '12 Lets You Relive High School; I Propose My Ideas

If you fine folks were anything like me, high school was not a fun experience.  I battled all kinds of anxiety, and was glad to get out alive. Well, the popular video game, NCAA Football '12 is giving you that opportunity!

The Road to Glory mode has a pretty cool twist, in which it allows you to play games as a high senior.  The idea is that you put up some big numbers, and get that scholarship to play at Florida, Alabama, or any other college that you choose. You can even use a team importer, and actually play a real high school schedule.  So I, a Grossmont High alum, can take on our hated rivals from Helix.  All of this sounds really rad; but the mode definitely needs some tweaking.

I propose a "hottie" mode. If I am going to be the star quarterback, I want more that just a scholarship, I want what every high school baller wants:  chicks.  Lets say I throw 4 TD's, I want pick of the top choice girls in school. I can nail the captain of the cheerleader squad, or the weird artsy girl with the giant rack.  Choices, choices. Nailing a hot chick gives me more confidence, that translates onto the field. If I have a poor game, I can get my confidence back by getting a fat girl to give me a quick "handy" underneath the bleachers.

I also think that agents, and shady coaches should be instituted into the game, as the NCAA is dirtier than Samantha Ronson's snatch. As I am looking at colleges, agents offer to buy me Escalades, suits, watches, and whatever stupid crap teenagers like these days. I have to decide if that Rolex is worth my integrity. I can also sell my awards for tattoos, cocaine, hookers, and piercings.

You better believe that I am buying this game first thing Tuesday. I enjoy living vicariously through sports games, and I am sure this one will be no different.  Now starting at quarterback for YOUR Grossmont Foothillers, #6, Kevin "Moose Dick" Charity!  Get ready high school bitches, I'm coming for you!

No comments:

Post a Comment