Thursday, September 29, 2011

The Gospel of Tito Burroughs

A few weeks ago I got a friend request on Facebook, by a dude named Tito Burroughs. I usually add people who aren't obviously spam, as a means to drive more eyeballs towards the media empire I am slowly trying to build. Anyway, one of the recent request I received was from a man named Tito Burroughs. I almost deleted him within a few hours. His wall posts are crazy, religious ramblings that are often incoherent. However, they are hilarious, and I cannot turn away.

A little info on my man Tito: According to his page he is 38, lives in North Carolina, is black, and is a Jehovah's witness. Jehovah's witnesses are weird if you ask me, they do not celebrate holidays, they refuse to serve in the military, and do not donate blood. They also generally do not associate with people who are not of their faith. Translation: they are selfish, snobbish pricks.

Anyway, this nuts posts are so ridiculous, you have to wonder if he is high while typing. His posts are also some of the longest I have ever seen on Facebook. Here are some of my favorites: IF YOU HAVE NO COP BADGE OR ID BADGE
YOU GET
... NO FOOD
NO GAS
... NO WEED
NO WARTH
NO AIR
NO TV
NO CAR
NO JOB
NO HOUSE
NO CELL PHONES
NO PDAS
NO COMPUTERS
NO FACEBOOK
NO TWITTER
NO TOLLET PAPER
NOTHING MOTHERFUCKERS


Here are a few more:  A LOT OF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS FUCK UP
THE GOVERNMENTS
AND RICH WON
I HAVE NO VISIONS
... I HAVE NO BIBLE
I HAVE NOTHING MOTHERFUCKERSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
BUT MY FUCKIN WORD ASSHOLESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

OUR ASS BELONG TO SATAN ASSHOLESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
ON 9/26/2011 I AM GOING TO LOOK LIKE A IMPERFECT NAVY SEAL FOR THE USA TO TIME INDEFINITE FOREVER GENERAL TITO ASSHOLESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
HAVE MY DIVINE 380S READY AND MY UNITED NATIONS OFFICE READY OBAMA
... LOVE YOU FOREVER
TELL ME NO AFTER 9/26/2011
... YOU GOING STRAIGHT TO JAIL AND WHEN YOU DIE YOU AUTOMATICALLY GO STRAIGHT TO SATAN
TRUE GANGSTERS OPERATE ABOVE THE LAW THEY DO ALL
AFTER 9/26/2011

This nutjob preaches about a war, in which he will take over the world, because Jehovah preached to him. He will have full control of everything, and we will have to join him, or die. Part of me laughs profusely when he posts, the other part feels like I have an obligation to call the government, in case this nut actually tries something stupid. If you like crazy people, look up Tito Burroughs, its a riot!

1 comment:

  1. Tito Svcs started in 1985 CALL 2522683049
    Im a Bible student Citizen of Jehovah Gods Government Gave my first talk at age 7 at the Government Hall 2 Timothy 3

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