Saturday, April 23, 2011

Douchebag of the Week: Mike Leake

I hate to bust the balls of a fellow San Diegan, but this was just too easy.  We have all been short on cash, walking around the mall, looking at merchandise that we can't really afford.  I remember walking around my local mall, checking out the $300 Charger jerseys that I couldn't afford with my McDonald's checks.

Mike Leake is a big league pitcher, who received a $2.3 million dollar bonus just a few years ago, and currently makes $440,000 pitching in the big leagues.  Leake saw some merchandise that he had to have at Macy's; six American rag t-shirts, valued at $59.88, and decided to remove the security tags, and steal the tees.  He was then arrested and charged with a misdemeanor,but still pitched that day, and won.

I have racked by brain trying to figure out what Leake was thinking.  The dude isn't strapped for cash, if you have made a cool $3 million  in the last few years, you can afford some crappy t-shirts.  The guy wasn't even going for the Guess or Calvin Klein rack, nope he went straight for the clearance rack. 

The only conclusion that I could arrive at, is that this dude is a kleptomaniac.  It is the only thing that makes sense to me.  It isn't about getting that $80 pair of slacks, its about the rush of the chase, the thrill of the steal.  I would wager that this wasn't Mr. Leake first trip to the steal mill, it might just be the first time he has been caught.

I, myself have never stolen from a retailer, although I can't say I haven't been tempting.  What Leake did was just beyond stupid.  A large department store pays guys to specifically sit on their fat asses and watch people on cameras.  I really can't understand this idiot's logic, he has so much to lose, the guy has a chance to be a very good pitcher, and he could throw it all away on $10 t-shirts.  What the hell were you thinking, Mike?

Leake has yet to be disciplined, but if I were Reds management, I'd bang him for at least 5 games, which would equate to one start.  It is not as bad as a DUI, but he committed a crime, and should be punished.  He showed a complete lack of judgment, and embarrassed himself and the organization.  Leake should also be subjected to standing outside of the Macy's holding a since that says "I'm a dick, I stole from this establishment, and that is the reason you are paying more for that pair of slacks" sign.  Perhaps Leake will think twice about stealing again, or at least be more discreet.

Mike Leake, kleptomaniac, and the newest Douchebag of the Week!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Great Moments in Movie History: Danielle Harris in Halloween

Danielle Harris is one of my favorite actresses, period.  She is far from a household name, and many people don't know who she is, but they should.  She is a full-blown hottie, a 33 year old beauty who can play a high school girl, and no one can really tell.  She rose to prominence in 1988's "Halloween 4" as Jaime Lloyd, the niece of killer Michael Myers.  She returned to the role in the 1989 film "Halloween 5," but the movie was a bit of disappointment, and like most child stars, she faded into obscurity.

However, as a child I remember her as Molly, the slutty next-door neighbor on "Roseanne."  She appeared in season 5, and was in a handful of episodes.  She was cute, and seemed to want to be friends with goth-lesbian Darlene, for whatever reason.  It also bugged me that David chose not to stick Molly, but I guess it wouldn't be prudent for him to dump a star for a minor character.  Molly had it going on though, but disappeared from the show for reasons unknown.

In the preceding years she had a traumatic experience with a stalker(wasn't me, I swear) and had bit parts in movies like "Urban Legend" and a very good indie film called "Debating Robert Lee" which also starred Kaley Cuoco from "The Big Bang Theory."  Other than that, she was not in the public eye.

Then came the news that Rob Zombie was writing and directing a remake of the horror classic "Halloween."  Rumors were flying around about who would join the cast.  An online movement was started to help Harris land a role in the film.  Zombie finally decided to cast Danielle as Annie Brackett in the remake.

While the film was extremely flawed, Harris stood out for many reasons.  First, she played a High Schooler at the tender age of 30, but she also appeared in the film topless! 

She pawns off the children she is suppose to babysit on main character Laurie Strode, and heads home with her boyfriend, for a late-night bang.  The sex scene itself is laughable, with the guy letting out a "oh my god, its so warm" line.  Shakespeare it ain't but it was exciting to see Harris ready to show her stuff.  Then her old friend Michael Myers pops in for a visit, and the rest is cinema gold.

Harris runs through the house, battered, beaten, and topless.  It was exciting from an action standpoint, plus you got to see a hottie topless.  She fights Michael down to the bone, and somehow survives to star in the underwhelming sequel, where she dies in one of the weirdest deaths I have ever seen in a horror film.

I am a huge Danielle fan, getting to meet her was one of the greatest days of my life, and getting to see her topless was amazing as well!  Danielle Harris in Halloween, one of the great moments in movie history!

The Best Games of the 2011 NFL Season

Despite being marred in an ugly lockout, the NFL unveiled their regular season schedule.  We have known the opponents and venues for months, but now we finally know the dates in which they play.  While there are some games that are duds,(is anyone excited to see Carolina play anyone?) there are some games that have piqued my interest as a fan. 

Thursday, September 8th, 2011:  Packers vs. Saints:  The first matchup of the year is a real doozy, we get the last two Super Bowl champs duking it out at Lambeau Field.  Anytime you get Drew Brees and Aaron Rodgers together, it is bound to be a compelling battle.

Sunday, September 19, 2011:  Eagles vs. Falcons:  Of course this game is a Sunday Night game, where Michael Vick makes his return to Atlanta, in a matchup of possible Super Bowl contenders.  The game is sure to feature announcers telling us what a great story Michael Vick is, and how great of a person he's become.  I will watch just to hear Vick showered with boos.

Sunday, November 6th: Ravens vs. Steelers:  This is a divisional game, so they play twice, but I love the football these two teams play.  Usually 13-10 games are completely boring, but these two teams slug each other in the gut, and every first down is earned.  The game in November should feature cold weather, and lots of violence.

Sunday November 6th:  Packers vs. Chargers:  Yes, we all know I am a big Charger fan, but this game should be compelling even if you don't like the Bolts.  It will be the first time Phillip Rivers and Aaron Rodgers meet in the pros.  Both teams are electric on offense, and play similar styles on defense.  The game could possibly be a Super Bowl preview, although Norv will probably screw it up.

Thursday November 24th:  49'ers vs. Ravens:  This game is interesting since it will be the first battle of Head Coaching brothers, as Jim and John Harbaugh battle in Baltimore.  The Niners probably won't be very good, but it is history.