Thursday, May 26, 2011

The Oddest Television Couples I Have Seen

Have you ever watched a sitcom and wondered, how the hell is that putz married to that hottie?  It only happens in real life, and only when the dude has a few dollars in the bank.  There are some couples that seem like a match made in heaven(think Dan and Roseanne) and some that leave you scratching your head.

I have only included couples on shows that i have actually watched.  People have pointed out that Ed O'Neill is hitting a hot Latina on "Modern Family," but I do not watch that show.  Perhaps I will catch up when its hits syndication, but for now, here are my "Oddest Couples in Television that I have ever seen."

6. Leonard and Penny-"The Big Bang Theory":  A beautiful, corn-fed hottie from Nebraska, and a physics nerd come together as friends, and eventually start dating?  No, seriously, that's a joke, right.  While this show is one of my all-time favorites, the premise of Penny making eye contact with Leonard, let alone dating him just seems absurd.  Physics nerds who play Halo, aren't exactly rolling in chicks.  Fun fact about the duo:  they actually dated in real life.  I can see Johnny Galecki and Kaley Cuoco hooking up, but not Leonard and Penny.

5. Drew and Kate-"The Drew Carey Show":  I love the character Drew Carey, because I found him extremely real.  He is a pretty smart guy, who works in a shitty department store job.  He's chubby, and wears dorky glasses, and probably can't get laid.  But alas, Drew often dated, including many women that left you scratching your head.  Drew dated his tomboy, but sexy best friend Kate, and ultimately married her.  Apparently chicks dig fat guys with crappy jobs.  Looks like there is hope for me after all.

4. Willie and Kate- "ALF":  This show is not often brought up as having an "odd couple" angle, since the main attraction was a hairy puppet.  This sitcom was a staple of my youth, and when I started rewatching it on DVD a few years ago, I was like "Why is this chick married to a pedophile."  Willie(played by crack-loving, cock-guzzling creep Max Wright) was busted for smoking crack and filming gay porn in the early 2000's.  Apparently, ALF was the one on that show that liked to eat pussy.

3.  Doug and Carrie- "The King of Queens":  Another show I love, that had a couple that really never fit together for me.  Doug is an obese, dim-witted delivery driver, oh and he's a selfish liar to boot.  Carrie is the sexy New Yorker, with a mouth like a sailor, and a full-blown hottie.  I never bought them as a married couple, but they did have a lot of chemistry comically.

George's head has its own area code
2.  George and Angie-"The George Lopez Show":  Easily one of the most overrated shows of all-time.  It is somehow the highest rated show on Nick at Nite, which I find deeply disturbing.  George is the factory worker, with a head the size of the Alaskan coastline.  Angie is a Cuban MILF, so naturally they would marry, right?  Yeah, I don't buy it either.
1. Balki and Larry- "Perfect Strangers":  One is from a fictional island called Mypos.  The other is from Chicago.  Balki is a free spirit, while Larry is an uptight little troll.  They share a one bedroom apartment together.  Oh wait, they aren't gay lovers, but cousins?  Huh, could have fooled me.
They really aren't gay?

Wilson Valdez is a Winner!

The Phillies and Reds played a terribly long game on Wednesday night, as the Phillies eeked out a 5-4 win, in 19 innings over the Cincinnati Reds.  The game went so long, that the Phillies ran out of pitchers.  No problem, they pulled in Wilson Valdez from second, to pitch the 19th. 

I'm sure the Reds were licking their chops, especially with Joey Votto stepping up to the plate.  No matter, as Valdez got him to fly out to center.  He also hit 90 on the gun.  Valdez got through the inning unscathed, and the Phillies won it on a sac fly in the 19th.

Valdez becomes the first position player since Brett Mayne to win a game as a pitcher; Mayne did it in 2000.  Valdez is also the first player since Babe Ruth to win a game as a pitcher, after starting the game as a position player.

Babe Ruth and Wilson Valdez forever joined in history.  Unbelievable. 

My Beef With Bud Black

Not this year, Buddy
The San Diego Padres have gotten off to a horrendous 20-30 start.  I had the Padres winning 83 games at the start of the season, so they have grossly underachieved, at least by the expectations I had.  The Padres have been the worst offensive team in baseball this year, as they are dead last in average, and slugging percentage.

I am not one of those dopey fans who calls for the heads of the manager.  Overall, I think Bud Black is a good manager.  He took the Padres within one game of the playoffs last year, and deserved the extension he received.  This Padres team is devoid of offense talent.  When your hitting Orlando Hudson and Nick Hundley in the middle of your order, you know things are going to be rough.

I do however, loathe the way Bud has managed this team.  I do not like the way he has set his lineups.  Ryan Ludwick has seemed to produce much more when he hits lower than 4th, leave him down there.  The recently departed Will Venable has great wheels, but really had no business leading off.  His most egregious of errors however, is his aversion to playing rookies.

When Orlando Hudson hit the DL earlier in the month, the Padres brought up Logan Forsythe, an infielder, and one of the organizations top minor league players.  He was a former 1st rounder, and put up a .388 OBP in AAA Tucson.  Naturally, a team with no other viable options, wouldn't bring up a kid to ride the pine, right?  Well Forsythe made one whole start in two weeks, and went hitless in eight at-bats.  The Padres chose to play Alberto Gonzalez and Eric Patterson at 2nd, both players are fringe minor leaguers at best.  I was floored that Forsythe was never given a shot to see what he can do in the big leagues.

The Padres also recently purchased the contract of Blake Tekotte, a 3rd rounder back in '08.  Tekotte was playing in AA San Antonio, where he posted a solid line of .291/.410/.486, and had 14 steals in 16 attempts.  He was not on the 40 man roster, so the Padres parted ways with Samuel Deduno, a pitcher who cracked the opening day lineup.  The Padres have minor league outfielders Luis Durango, Aaron Cunningham, and Cedric Hunter on the 40 man roster already, and all have seen big league action recently.  The Padres chose Tekotte, because he profiled the best defensively.

Tekotte has seen one at-bat in the three games that he has been in San Diego.  Clearly, he was not brought up to play, so why waste the roster space on him.  He should be getting at-bats somewhere, be it in AA, or in the big leagues.  A 23 year old, who hasn't even seen AAA, should not be riding the pine.  It just a waste to not be giving him regular at-bats.

I believe that Buddy Black is the right manager for this team, I just wish he would let the kids play in this lost season.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Why I Root Against the Miami Heat

The Heat are in the drivers seat in the Eastern Conference Semifinals against the Chicago Bulls, after winning 96-85 on Sunday night.  Chris Bosh had a dominant game, scoring 34 points in the win.  It appears than many people are enjoying the Heatles run to greatness, I however, would like to see them crash and burn.

First of all, I strongly dislike Lebron James.  The "decision" showed the world that his ego is in a different stratosphere, and ripping the heart out of a city who has suffered enough over the years.  Even before that, James came across as an entitled brat, who had everyone in his life cater to his needs.  I respect the talent, but cannot stand the individual.

Second, the whole pageantry of the big three's arrival in Miami left a bitter taste in my mouth.  Bosh played for a sorry Toronto team that collapsed last year, and I felt he was not worth the deal he received.  Before the team had even played a game together, they declared that they would win seven championships, even though the team had no point guard, or bench to speak of.

You would think that having two of the best players in the game would energize a market starving for a winner, yet often times this season, American Airlines Arena was not filled to capacity.  Miami is a tourist town, and the citizens looked like they had yet to fully embrace their new super squad.

Everyone else may want to see "King James" win his first ring, but I take pleasure in watching him fail.  Perhaps I am bitter, but there is just something about the guy that rubs me the wrong way.  Here's hoping that the Bulls can crush the spirits of Lebron once more.