Thursday, August 25, 2011

Lenny Dykstra Can't Keep it in his Pants

As a sports fan, and a very amateur blogger, I love stories that are hilarious. Everyone lives for the stories where an athlete hangs out with a cancer-stricken child, or saves someones live. I love when athletes fuck up. Former Mets and Phillies outfielder Lenny Dykstra committed such an offense.

Dykstra was charged for allegedly exposing himself to women he met on Craigslist. It is alleged that Dykstra found "victims" by posting ad's on Craiglist, seeking housekeepers and personal assistants. He has done this several times between 2009-2011, and could face a $1,000 fine and six months in jail for each count.

Dykstra is currently in jail, for car theft and drug possession. Suffice to say, Dykstra is in some big time trouble. I can't begin to even fathom what was going through this guy's head. Lets see, I will make an ad, then get some woman to respond, then I will whip it out. If the guy really wanted to show some lady his little slugger, he had many options that would have kept him out of a jail.

1. Post the same ad, but in "casual encounters": Here, it is expected that you show your dick to someone. It is populated by desperate people trying to get laid. Chances are, if Dykstra met some bitch here, he probably would not have some housekeeper named Lupita pressing charges,

2. Send dick pics to random girls: I bet 97% of guys have sent pics of their junk to various women over the years. Its part boredom, and part stupidity, as men seem to think that women will get turned on by pictures of our junk. Yet, we continue to do it. If Len does this, the chick can just delete the pics, and everything is alright.

Perhaps these options do not have the same thrill as scaring some poor, unsuspecting woman with his penis, but they would keep him out of trouble. Some guys just never learn.

Its Fantasy Football Time!

Before last year, I had little to no interest in fantasy sports. I always thought that it was kind of nerdy, and I questioned how someone can be a die-hard fan while hoping that a RB starting against your favorite team has a big day. However, I gave it a try last year, and loved it! I just had my second draft, and I really like the team I have. Let's take a look, and see how it stacks up against yours!

1st Pick: Darren McFadden, RB, Raiders: I actually got him on waivers last year(thank you, Arlo.) He has some durability questions, but did average 5.3 yds a carry, and is an effective receiver. Also scored 10 TD's last year.

2nd Pick: Maurice Jones-Drew, RB, Jaguars: He slipped into the 2nd, and I was stoked to get him. Ran for over 1,300 yds last year, although it would be nice to see him get into the endzone a bit more. Should get plenty of touches in Florida.

3rd Pick: Vincent Jackson, WR, Chargers: Maybe this was a bit of a homer pick, but I believe Jackson is poised for a big year. Im hoping for 70-80 catches, 1,200 yards, and 10 TD's. It is only preseason, but he and Rivers have looked in sync. Hopefully he will call a cab when he gets hammered in the Gaslamp.

4th Pick: Desean Jackson, WR, Eagles: Another big-time playmaker, he is one of the most electrifying players in the league. Averaged an insane 22.5 yards a catch in 2010.

5th Pick: Matt Ryan, QB, Falcons: I really wanted Philip Rivers, but I will settle for Matty Ice in the 5th round. 4,000 yds, and 30 TD's are not out of the question.

6th Pick: Jason Witten, TE, Cowboys: Put up a 1,000 yard season last year, and with a healthy Tony Romo, he should be poised to do the same. One of the best tight ends in all of football.

7th Pick: Steve Smith, WR, Panthers: This pick might have been a reach, but I needed another WR, and he was the best on the board. If he is healthy, he is a beast. I am concerned that he will have an unproven rookie, or Jimmy Clausen throwing passes to him.

8th Pick: Fred Jackson, RB, Bills: Should be the main man in Buffalo, and he has the ability to have 1,000 yds, and catch the ball out of the backfield. Not a bad option as my #3 back.

9th Pick: Josh Freeman, QB, Bucs: I was hoping to snag Lions QB Matt Stafford here, because I believe he is poised for a big season. However, statistically, Freeman was better than Matt Ryan in 2010. He definitely gives me options, and is one of the best young QB's in the game.

10th pick: Jacoby Ford, WR/KR, Raiders: I admit I probably reached on this pick, but I love the ability and flashiness Ford brings. He should see the field quite often as Louis Murphy is ok, and Heyward-Bey has been a bust. Ford is one of the fastest guys in the league.

11th Pick: Mike Tolbert, RB, Chargers: Gives me a solid option at RB. Scored 10 TD's last year, and should get a great deal of carries, as I do not believe the coaching staff is sold on the fragile Ryan Mathews.

12th Pick: Dustin Keller, TE, Jets: I like him as a backup TE, he is a nice option underneath for Mark Sanchez. 700 yards, and 6 TD's are not out of the question.

13th Pick: Michael Crabtree, WR, 49'ers: I am still waiting for this guy to break out. He is the 3rd option in SF, although Braylon Edwards is no Jerry Rice. Crabtree should be able to make plays with Harbaugh at the helm.

14th Pick: Dallas Defense: Needed a D, they were the best left. Had a great defense last year, and it never really made a difference.

15th Pick: Dan Carpenter, K, Dolphins: Decent kicker, made 30/41 last year. Kickers are a dime a dozen.

So what do you think of my team?