Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Random Thoughts: Celebrity Deaths

It has been a really sad, and busy week for celebrity deaths. Here in San Diego, Junior Seau took his own life, and Adam Yauch of the Beastie Boys passed away as well, after a lengthy battle with cancer. Both are tragic, in very different ways. Hell, if you think that celebrity deaths come in three's, Goober from Andy Griffith died as well(I am too lazy to google his real name.) 

The interesting thing about the deaths themselves, are the reactions that they get from individuals. Some people are genuinely sad, some make cruel jokes, and others are just apathetic. Depending on the celebrity, I have displayed all three of the aforementioned emotions at different points in time. When Seau killed himself, I awoke to a couple of cruel jokes on my Twitter page, from a couple of non-Charger fans. A couple of days later, the same assholes were crying over the loss of the Beastie Boy.

For me personally, the Seau death obviously had a larger impact. I don't want to go into details, since I wrote a post about it, but the death of Adam Yauch didn't impact me personally. I have always hated the Beastie Boys, I cannot stand most hip-hop, and the Beastie Boys have always annoyed the shit out of me. Still, anytime a person dies of cancer at a young age, it is awful. I never felt compelled to make jokes of a death that is beyond one's control.

In the past, I have made cracks about celebrity deaths. When former Alice in Chains frontman Layne Staley passed, I poked fun, as he overdosed on drugs. The Kung-Fu guy that killed himself with autoerotic asphyxia? Yes, I piled on him, as did many others. There are some famous folks that have impacted my life, but I cannot say it has felt even remotely close to losing someone I actually know.

In America, he have a peculiar, perhaps unhealthy obsession with our favorite stars. We want to know who goes to what clubs, who is banging whom, and who has gotten fat over the years. If you go to any grocery store in America, there is a tabloid magazine waiting to be purchased. I suppose celebrities live the lives we wish we had, and we put them on a pedestal. When they die, we feel the need to grieve. If it is a celeb that we hated, we pretend we are comedians at the Laugh House. 

Is one celebrity's death more tragic than the other? I suppose that in the examples I have given, Yauch's death is sadder, as he succumbed to a terrible disease. Seau's death was very much premeditated, as he made the decision to pull the trigger on that fateful morning.

When all the smoke clears, two lives were lost, lives that impacted society. They are both tragic and unfortuante, and both parties deserved to be treated with respect in their demise. RIP. 

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

John Travolta is Gay??? Ah Jeez!

John Travolta has been in the news lately, and is not because we are getting a sequel of 'The General's Daughter.' No kids, Travolta is involved in a gay sex scandal, as two masseuses claim that Travolta came onto them sexually. One of the gentlemen claims that Johnnie tried to give him a handie.

One of the masseuses is suing Travolta for $2 million, for pain and suffering, which is understandable, as the lawsuit claims that Travolta has "unkempt" pubic hair. Travolta also claimed that Hollywood is run by gay Jewish men who expect sexual favors in return. The lawsuit also claims that Travolta also enjoys the taste of semen, and has an eight-inch dong.

This is not the first time Travolta has been accused of being gay, and there are a few things that do not quite add up in this lawsuit. First, the plaintiff(the masseuse) claims that Travolta does in fact have an eight-incher. If some fat, past his prime actor put his dick in my face, I would not have the time to add the inches. I would probably run out of the room, and into the nearest door. Also, where do they come up with $2 million? I suppose it is to extort as much money as possible from a millionaire, but is $2 million a fair price?

Look at the facts. Travolta ASKED the guy to jerk him, and according to the statement, apologized for his behavior. Travolta did not try and rape him, and stopped before an assault took place. I would say it was a weird, minor incident. If Travolta did this to me, I would probably be cool with a few thousand, and Season 1 of 'Welcome Back Kotter' on DVD. Second, Travolta also offered to let the masseuse bang his wife, the still delightful Kelly Preston. Travolta allegedly told the guy that 'his wife wanted to be double-penetrated. Shit, a chance to bang the star of 'Twins?' Sign me up, as long as we do not cross swords. I mean, how many people can say they participated in a threeway with a couple of movie stars?

So, Travolta likes a little dick on the side? It is no reason for him to get sued. He tried to make everything right in my opinion. However, how much dick did Travolta have to suck to get a green light on 'Battlefield Earth?' I am sure it would make Jenna Jameson blush.